What 99% of Men Don’t Know About the Friend Zone

The High Value Men's Club
5 min readMar 31, 2021

--

Most guys have been in situations where they have found a woman who they believe to be the “girl of their dreams” and somehow end up in the dreaded friend-zone.

Many online relationship “experts” will try and sell you a dream and will have you believe that if you just do or say the “right thing”, then you’ll be able to climb out of the friend zone.

However, we are here to provide you with a dose of reality and let you know that odds are: you will never get out of the friend zone.

Now before you get all upset, exit the post, and just about cancel the entire blog, we want you to stick around and learn why this is the case and learn the only way you can ever truly get out of the friend zone.

How did I get friend-zoned?

Most guys get friend-zoned simply because they do not understand male and female dynamics.

If you lack a firm understanding of male and female dynamics, we recommend that you start with the book The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

In his book, David Deida describes what it means to be a masculine man. Once you’ve read and understood his book, trust that you will never get friend-zoned again.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand, the reason why most men get friend-zoned in today’s age is that they do not understand what women truly find attractive.

Have you ever wondered why in life it seems like women are usually attracted to the guys society has deemed “bad boys?”

As a nice guy, you’ve probably never understood why women are attracted to these men, and sadly nice guys are quick to choose the easiest explanations for these situations and in doing so miss a crucial lesson about male and female dynamics.

Nice Guys vs. Bad Boys

Many men have grown up with a false beliefs about women and relationships due to media, movies, and even parental influences.

Most men have grown up to believe that women are “perfect” beings who do no wrong.

However, men who have dealt with many women know that this isn’t the case and understand that women are human beings just like each of us.

The men who have been raised on these deluded beliefs on the reality of female nature, approach the women they’re interested in like it’s a Disney movie.

Although these guys have a romantic interest, they will typically first try to be a woman’s “friend” first. In doing so, they come off too friendly and their relationship with the woman of interest remains platonic.

Of course, there are situations where this approach can work, but if we’re being honest we know that most of the time it simply does not.

On the other side of the spectrum, there are guys who come off way too strong and end up professing their love with flowers in hand to a woman they just met.

In doing so, both categories of men quickly find that the methods they’ve seen on TV do not work. And as a result of using these dated tactics, these men consequentially place themselves in the friend zone.

“Bad Boys” however have a trait that nice guys tend to lack. They are direct, confident, and self-assured which leads to better results with women.

This does not mean that in order to attract women you need to be a “bad boy”, it just means that you should understand the traits these men possess that make them more successful with women.

How to avoid the Friend-Zone

The only way to avoid the friend-zone from the jump is to immediately gauge a woman’s interest in you to see if the interest is reciprocated.

If the interest is reciprocated, great you are allowed to proceed. However, if the interest is not reciprocated, it is a simple as wishing the woman of interest a good life and moving on with yours.

This is the step where many men will mess up.

Due to the subconscious programming of Disney movies and popular TV shows like How I Met Your Mother (no offense Ted), nice guys firmly believe that if they just try harder or show the girl how much they like her that she’ll one day come around.

Although this idea is great in theory, it simply just isn’t reality. Women actually become more turned off by this because it shows you have no self-respect and it will push you even further from your initial goal.

Dealing With Rejection

As a man, you will face rejection, and that is just a simple truth of life. How you face rejection, however, is a true testament to the type of man that you are.

The reality of that not all women will be interested in you, especially during your younger ages when to be completely honest, you probably don’t have that much going for you yet.

When you are rejected, you are actually given a gift and an opportunity. You’re given the gift of peace of mind because you no longer have to worry about “what if” I had shot my shot.

You’re also given the opportunity to go out and improve yourself so that one day you can attract the type of girl that you want into your life.

If you’re in a situation where the woman who rejected you was a close friend, you need to take the time to recover from this rejection and possibly suspend the friendship until your feelings are better under control.

The truth is that if she rejected you, you do not owe her a friendship, just like she didn’t owe you a relationship. If she is a high-quality woman, she will understand this and will give you the time and space you need to heal.

Conclusion

Getting friend-zoned in today’s day and age is basically a right of passage.

As a man, you must learn to deal with the pain of rejection and use it as fuel to propel your life forward.

It is also your responsibility to unplug yourself from deluded philosophies of Disney Movies and TV shows and understand how male and female dynamics really work.

If you’d like to learn more or have a unique situation, subscribe below and we’d be happy to help. Also, follow our motivational Instagram page.

--

--

The High Value Men's Club

🏆 A space created for highly motivated men seeking to dominate life. Discussing money, fitness, and dating for the modern-day man.