A Detailed Guide To Confidence and Why You Need it

Confidence is a trait that some people never seem to lack.

Have you ever wondered how they were able to obtain this level of confidence? You may think they were born with it, but truth is that confidence is a skill that they’ve developed over time.

Confidence is something that a lot of men today struggle with. Many men do not feel confident in their everyday lives and find it hard to display true confidence in social settings.

You’ve probably heard the saying “fake it til you make it”. Solutions like this may work short-term, but they are not the real fix to why you may feel unconfident in life.

If you want to develop real, unshakable confidence, continue reading to learn actionable steps you can begin to take today.

What exactly is Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence is defined as a “feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgments”.

When defined like this, it’s clear that confidence isn’t just a stereotypically loud and extroverted personality. Rather, it is an internal feeling of belief in oneself.

Someone once said that “confidence isn’t about walking into a room with your nose in the air thinking that you’re better than everyone else, but rather it’s the ability to walk in a room and not have to compare yourself to anyone else.” Can you spot the difference there?

True self-confidence isn’t superficial. At its core, it is a deep sense of security in oneself.

Self-confidence is often praised as a highly desired trait, especially among men, but have you ever really thought about why you want self-confidence?

Let’s go through some different reasons why you may want to consider becoming more confident and how it could possibly change your life.

1) You Develop a Deep Sense of Purpose and Direction

• You will have a clearer sense of direction in life. You will know what you want to accomplish in life and have the confidence to go after it.
• If you lack confidence, you are more likely to procrastinate and hold yourself back by not believing you can accomplish what you set your mind to.
• Confident people waste less time pondering whether or not they can accomplish a goal. Rather, they approach problems with the mindset of “how” can I accomplish this goal. How can this simple shift in mindset change your life?

2) You Feel Comfortable in Social Situations

• When you develop confidence, the way you interact with other people vastly improves. You present yourself with attractive energy that changes the way people perceive and interact with you. Because of this, you will find it easier to meet new people and make new friends.
• You will find it easier to present your true self to the world, without fear of rejection. People with low confidence try to be someone else in social settings and end up feeling awkward and stifled. However, when you put your real self into the world, you present more attractive energy that allows people to pull their guards down and be themselves as well.

3) You Improve Faster

• People who lack confidence are typically more hesitant because they don’t believe they have what it takes for whatever it is they want to accomplish. Because of this limiting belief, they are less likely to try new things and thus create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
• Confident people however aren’t afraid to try new things, even if it means failure. And in doing so, they find that they improve much quicker at whatever it is they want to do because they learn from their mistakes and refuse to sit on the sidelines due to fear.

Signs of Low Self-Confidence

There are many tell-tale signs of low self-confidence. Let’s go through some so that you can identify which ones may be holding you back.

1) You Second Guess Yourself

• Unconfident people constantly doubt their opinions and decisions. They may constantly look to other people for direction and guidance due to a lack of trust within themselves to make the right decision.

2) You are a People Pleaser

• A person with low self-confidence may have a limiting belief they are not enough and because of this, they change their personality and opinions around different people.

3) You Carry Limiting Self Beliefs

• If you’re constantly telling yourself that there are things you can’t do or accomplish for whatever reason, this is impacting your confidence. This is problematic because this belief will stop you from even trying.

How to Become Confident

Now let’s talk about how you can start to become confident.

1) Get Rid of That Inferiority Complex

• In the journey to become more confident, you must identify and let go of the limiting beliefs that make you feel inferior to other people. These beliefs are what cause you to look to other people for direction, rather than trusting in your own sense of purpose.
• Stop comparing yourself to others, and change the negative narrative you’ve been telling yourself your entire life.
• Let go of past failures that are holding you back and rather focus on past successes that display your ability to be successful.

2) Develop A Skill

• Confidence is simply the trust in your abilities, and the quickest way to develop that trust is the develop a skill. By developing and mastering a skill you will begin to feel a deep sense of fulfillment and confidence. You will also begin to break negative self-beliefs as you see yourself begin to master a certain skill set.
• People at the top of their fields have a deep sense of confidence because they have developed a skill that they’re passionate about and now have a strong sense of trust in their abilities.

3) Stop Taking Negative Comments as Fact

• Realize that other opinions of you are simply that, opinions. Other’s opinions in no way define who you are. Only you can define who you are, so don’t let some random person label you.

4) Use Confident Body Language

• Begin to stand tall, relax your shoulders, move slower, look people in the eyes. These are all little things that you can begin doing right now to immediately start feeling more confident.

5) Utilize Positive Self-Talk

• You must realize the effect of your thoughts and how you speak to yourself on your confidence. Speak positively to yourself and use positive affirmations that highlight your strengths rather than your weaknesses.
• Stop beating yourself up if you fail or if something doesn’t go exactly how you envision.
• Try to approach life more light-heartedly and don’t treat mistakes like the end of the world.

Conclusion

People do not just wake up one day and become confident.

As you can see, the journey to developing confidence is a long and difficult one, but it is also well worth the time and effort.

Confidence can open countless doors for you that fear and inferiority could never. Think of all the ways that confidence can work for you to improve your life and help you accomplish what you want in life.

Now, what are you waiting for? Don’t waste another minute, start developing the confidence you want today.